Thursday, March 1, 2007

Like warm clouds ready to replenish this arid earth and all its seas

Thought of the day....above, always.

Time did stop - when I fell last Sunday I thought only the watch band broke, but having it replaced I noticed this morning the watch also stopped. Prophesy. The seconds hand tries to move, but is jammed. Not frozen, merely broken.

Sometimes I do have ESP. This said, this ESP makes me more tenuous since I am not sure when I am being optimistic, pessimistic, realistic or when it is prophetic. I wish I were a true believer. Too much doubt, sometimes.

I hate the first of each month because at work I have to account for seven hours per day and bill to clients. I hate the first. Also have to buy new train ticket. Three months ago I was frustrated and reached out on the first. Think it was a good thing....much more good has come of it than I ever thought. My waist has gone down four inches which may be forty pounds.

This morning when I left the house a Song Sparrow was singing on the dogwood. Many crocuses open on the lawn - white and yellow and purple. Not sure what this month will bring. Or the next.

Got off the subway and decided to walk around the block despite rib pain. Need to keep exercising and continue to lose weight. I am a product of the choices I make and there are many choices. I need to make good choices and find happiness even in small things. To be content but real.

Walking up 53rd street I noticed past a court yard between two office buildings and there was a wall of small stones with an artificial waterfall gushing in the cold morning light. I took off my earphones and walked up to the waterfall in amazement. The sounds of the falling water drowned out most of the city noise and it was calming. Serene. I found the spot on the wall where the water fell with most aeration - a wall of white foam - and I admired it. Stunning. Quieting. Artificial. But maybe it was art. Man made so I thought about Yosemite. Thought about Bridal Falls and all the small streams I birded near. The sound of moving water and of birds flying and of the sight and feel of sunrises. I love sunrises.

Moving on I walked past a high end men's suit store on 5th Avenue and they had the most realistic artificial flowers in a display. Looked so real and attractive until I noticed there was no water in the vases. Artificial, again. Man made but merely good craftsmanship.

I wonder if I am numb and if like the whole world I getting accustomed and, thus amazed, by facades.

Back to my time sheets and to being frustrated by what I accomplished last month. Oh, well. That is a song too.

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