Time did stop - when I fell last Sunday I thought only the watch band broke, but having it replaced I noticed this morning the watch also stopped. Prophesy. The seconds hand tries to move, but is jammed. Not frozen, merely broken.
Sometimes I do have ESP. This said, this ESP makes me more tenuous since I am not sure when I am being optimistic, pessimistic, realistic or when it is prophetic. I wish I were a true believer. Too much doubt, sometimes.
I hate the first of each month because at work I have to account for seven hours per day and bill to clients. I hate the first. Also have to buy new train ticket. Three months ago I was frustrated and reached out on the first. Think it was a good thing....much more good has come of it than I ever thought. My waist has gone down four inches which may be forty pounds.
This morning when I left the house a Song Sparrow was singing on the dogwood. Many crocuses open on the lawn - white and yellow and purple. Not sure what this month will bring. Or the next.
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Got off the subway and decided to walk around the block despite rib pain. Need to keep exercising and continue to lose weight. I am a product of the choices I make and there are many choices. I need to make good choices and find happiness even in small things. To be content but real.
Walking up 53rd street I noticed past a court yard between two office buildings and there was a wall of small stones with an artificial waterfall gushing in the cold morning light. I took off my earphones and walked up to the waterfall in amazement. The sounds of the falling water drowned out most of the city noise and it was calming. Serene. I found the spot on the wall where the water fell with most aeration - a wall of white foam - and I admired it. Stunning. Quieting. Artificial. But maybe it was art. Man made so I thought about Yosemite. Thought about Bridal Falls and all the small streams I birded near. The sound of moving water and of birds flying and of the sight and feel of sunrises. I love sunrises.
Moving on I walked past a high end men's suit store on 5th Avenue and they had the most realistic artificial flowers in a display. Looked so real and attractive until I noticed there was no water in the vases. Artificial, again. Man made but merely good craftsmanship.
I wonder if I am numb and if like the whole world I getting accustomed and, thus amazed, by facades.
Back to my time sheets and to being frustrated by what I accomplished last month. Oh, well. That is a song too.
1 comment:
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